What to Do When You Feel Like Quitting Your Doctoral Program
I almost didn't finish.
Not because I wasn't smart enough. Not because the work was beyond me. But because the road had so many unexpected detours that there were moments… More than one… Where I genuinely asked myself why I was still on it.
Let me tell you about one of them.
Early in my program, I submitted an assignment in a rush. I was behind, moving fast, trying to catch up. When I checked the document afterward, my references were there. I thought I was fine. I wasn't. I was suspended for six months over an academic integrity issue I still don't fully understand how I ended up on the wrong side of. My reaction? WITEF.
I took my time off. I wrote the letter. I requested readmission. I said what I needed to say about using institutional resources and being more careful. Blah, blah, blah. And then I came back because I'm not a quitter. But I won't pretend it didn't shake me.
Then came the committee.
My Chair was exceptional. My committee, however, was something else entirely. One member, a Black woman, took it upon herself to look me up on LinkedIn and reported to my Chair that I was already using "Dr." in my title. I had ABD. I was not yet Dr. anything. But the message was clear: she was watching, and she wasn't rooting for me.
Another member reviewed my study and returned 421 items to correct. I corrected every single one. When I resubmitted, he found 200 more.
I'm going to be honest with you. I didn't always have language for what I was experiencing. Microaggressions, macroaggressions — these were concepts I understood abstractly. That committee was the first time they became real and personal. I was battling on two fronts, and for the first time, I understood what people meant when they said the academy wasn't built for all of us.
That was the moment I said, forget it. I don't need this.
But I came back. I regrouped. I advocated for myself and got a new committee.
And then there was my wife. She wanted to be Dr. & Mrs. If the ancestors weren't enough pressure, she certainly was. Between honoring the people who came before me and not disappointing the woman standing right beside me… There was no scenario where quitting was an option.
My best friend said it best: "If your committee isn't Team Adriann, then you need a new team." She was right. So I got one.
And then I finished.
If you're reading this in the middle of your own doctoral journey and you're asking yourself whether it's worth it… I want you to know that the question itself is normal. The self-doubt is normal. The exhaustion is normal. The committee members who seem to be working against you rather than with you? Unfortunately, also not uncommon.
Here's what I'd tell the version of me who was two days from walking away:
Regroup, don't quit. There's a difference between stepping back to catch your breath and walking away from something you've already invested years of your life in. Give yourself permission to pause. Don't give yourself permission to abandon what you've already built.
Advocate for yourself. I got a new committee. That was possible. You have more agency in this process than the institution wants you to believe.
Find your reason. Mine was ancestral. And personal. Yours might be your kids, your community, your own stubborn refusal to let the hard parts win. Find it and hold onto it. Especially on the days when the degree itself doesn't feel like enough.
Get support. I didn't have a coach when I needed one most. I had my wife, my best friend, and eventually a new committee. That network of people who believed I could finish is the reason I did. Whatever your version of that looks like… Find it. Build it. Don't try to white-knuckle your way through this alone.
You didn't come this far to quit now.
If you're in the thick of it right now and you can't find your reason, that's exactly what PhinisheD Doc is here to help you uncover. You don't have to figure this out alone.
Book your free discovery call today.
